Monday, February 28, 2011

Charlie Sheen the Salad Spinner and the Swifter Wet Jet

What do all these things have in common?

1) They claim to get clean
2) They break when you put too much pressure on them
3) They are a waste of time to deal with

Im not sure why I am blogging tonight? Maybe, because I haven't blogged in a while and am feeling the need to purge? I have met some interesting folks this evening? I have gotten some good laughs, good advice and learned that my cleaning products, wont kill my dog!

As a mother, that doesn't get out of the house much; Social Networking has become my fix! I get to meet new people, and be myself! Someone even called me witty! I think that is the first time i have heard that in my whole life! COOL!

So, as I may have mentioned in an early blog; I have decided to interview for this "job", as the traveling host for MYTV9. The requirements, sound like the letter that my boys soccer team, wrote on my behalf to elect me, "ct coach of the year"? I have never thought of myself as, "self promoting". I think that is why I am having a hard time, wrapping my hands around the concept; that I have always been told Im best at, "selling myself"? Maybe, i just never self promoted on paper,just live in person?

I am going to have to embrace my strengths, and remember why I would be the best fit for this job! People like me! Im relatable, and work hard! I am funny, and now Im witty! Being, enthusiastic, charismatic, and hard working, are the obvious answers! What I need to do, is dig deep, and find the self confidence I had when I was closing the big deals, and top sales producer!

I need to remember, the day I sat in Tiffany and Company cooperate offices and sold myself to the VP! I had an associates degree, my past sales experience was with the Shoreline Times as an ad rep, and I landed the best territory in the region, and became the top producer they had 5 out of the 7 years I worked for them! If I can do that, I can do anything!

I can relate to a CFO at GMAC and the assistant to the President of Yale! I am a stay at home mom, that proved herself to be the "BEST COACH" in the State of CT! I deal with everyday people on a daily basis and have promoted, everyone but me!!I think its my time now, to ask for some help!

You know what, I have nothing to lose! I am going to go for it, and if I don't get it, well it wasn't meant to be?

See if anything else, I can say, "I don't clean, break, and I will never be a waste of your time! Hence the title, although now I think its silly, and I am too tired to change it!

Wish me luck; my fellow, social media network! If you support me, i wont forget you!! I can promise you that! No i am no politician, nor will I ever be!

Good night my friends!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Narcissism or Self Promoting

Narcissism is the personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness

I was shopping in one of my, "regular", consignment shops today. I overheard a nice young women, speaking about her recent aplication for a loan modification; The horrible time she was having. I heard another women, and yet another, all sharing similiar stories. I heard; comments like "no one has credit anymore", "the mortgage brokers that cheated you, are now "loan modificaiton specialist", making money off you again, etc..It occured to me, that everyone is, "looking out for #1", and why shouldn't they? Do we define these people, as, "Narcissist"?

I couldn't help, but to think; "who is successful today", "who is succeeding in this tough, economic time"? It appears; those of us, who are using the power of, "social  networking", twitter, facebook, blogging, etc...  Those of us, who are speaking about, "what we know", and "what we are good at", are not only helping others; but, also building our own self esteem?

My whole life, I spoke about how I was really great with people. I had a nice smile, and I always seemed to capture an audience, no matter who the audience might be, I could relate to anyone! When I was growing up, "that alone did not count, for much"?

I suffer, ADHD, and back when I was growing up; that disability did not exist. I was considerd, "a lazy student". As an adult, I had to sell myself; by getting whatever job, that would hire me. I was constantly, "self promoting"! I think it was misread as, "narcissistic"?

I just want to end with; I think if you are, self promoting about something you are proud of, "WHY NOT"! If you can help others; talking about your strengths , "WHY NOT"! I am proud to be, enthusiastic, charismatic, creative, hard working and still kickin in a crazy world!  To all of my, "social networking, friends", I am listening to you!! I like hearing what you have to share! I don't think you are, "ego-driven,coceited, vane or selfish"! I think you are doing what is necessary to survive, and "get back to basics", in a crazy world!

Coach Salvo

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Coach in the Car

Driving home, after you lose a game, can be bad; But, if you are the coach, and your kid is the player in the back seat, it can be BRUTAL!

I started coaching my; now 8 year old sons, Youth Soccer Team, about 3 years ago. I never had any intentions of coaching any sport? When my son was in kindergarten, he signed up for a soccer clinic. The coach was away on a vacation, and he asked if anyone could step in and coach one of the clinics, I  said I would do it! It was the funnest clinic; I loved spending time with my son and my son loved having his mom, "as the coach"!

That day, changed the dynamics, of my relationship with  my son! He would only continue to play, "if", I coached? He didn't go to anymore clinics after that day! I would go with him, get involved, make him stay and watch? I tried; believe me, I am tough!!

That day, has forever changed by life as a, "Soccer Mom".

Knowing I am making a difference; is why I can stand to drive home after we lose a game. Knowing, I changed my son's life, "for the better"; because, I got involved!

Someday, I will look back and miss the rides home, after a game; Coach/Mom and Player/Son, whether its is a win or a loss, it doesn't matter; its that time we have together, "NOW", that I need to remember counts the most! 

Good Night! x

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

My Skills Don't Pay the Bills

Being a, "Do it yourself Diva, ""Career Volunteer", and "Coach", is more than a full time job!

I have fully challenged myself, both mentally and physically. I have changed lives, and would love to keep doing what I love so much!! Like I said in one of my past blogs, I never thought I would struggle to find a job?

It wasn't till after I watched the President address congress, saying that times had changed; without a higher education or a special skill, you are going to be in trouble.I never believed that woud be me? The fact is, that is exactly me! What I realize and seem to think unfair; some of us, who suffer disabilities that prevent us, from getting the, "traditional" 4 year degree, or perhaps, "struggle" to sit in a class room for more than 10 min, might not fit into the, "cookie cutter jobs", that are listed on job fiinding web sites!

Something about me, I haven't shared. I suffer ADHD. I am very smart; but, when it comes to following a  daily routine, I get frustrated, or bored. I often take on more than I might be asked, or make suggestions that are not part of the, "job description". I am a great boss, to myself !

I work well independantly, and love to learn about new things; but, I need to learn by doing and learning from my own failures. I don't like to be told,"what I did wrong", or, "how to do it". I am not, a, "know it all", and I do love to learn from my failures; I understand, "constructive criticism", and am always open to new ideas. It just seems I deal with people, who expect me to understand, what they are teaching; when they are not really teaching, but, "telling me"? I am often made to feel, "stupid", for not, "getting it", on the first try?

I already said, I am impulsive. I have started home improvement projects and landsacping projects, that I have learned, by doing, it wasn't working. I learned from doing and making my own mistakes, and then fixing them, on my own, and I smile with pride, because the outcome is exactly as I imagined!

It has been rewarding to see my garden grow. When, "mother nature", shows me; "that flower is going to die in that spot", I can move it and it will blossom. It might take a year or two, but when spring comes around, and the garden is filled with color, it puts a smile on my face. I did that, I figured it out on my own!

I have made some BIG mistakes, like painting the treads on my stairs; a color that I turned out to hate. You would think, easy fix, take the paint off? Taking the paint of the stairs, has got to be one of the hardest most physically challenging mistakes I have ever made; but, I did it, and I finished it! I am not going to go into detail about, the other massive, "screw ups". Using the pencil tip on the power washer to clean the wood deck, oops? BIG BAD MISTAKE!  I didn't forget about it, I am just waiting for the weather to change, so, I can flip the boards, "one by one", and re-stain the deck, "the right way"?

Well that's enough of that, but, you can see; as I learn slowly from my own mistakes it builds my confidence and pride in what I am accomplishing everyday. I don't think, you find your "calling", it finds you! I hope some day, "my skills, will in deed, pay the bills"?

Thats all for today! Talk to you soon! xo Coach Salvo

Monday, February 14, 2011

If a rose can survive in tupperware, I can survive anywhere!

I am not really sure, why I writing today, Valentines Day. I guess I had some thoughts I would like to share, about why I am feeling, "less appreciated", than I think I deserve?

I got flowers for Valentines Day,  and that is a lovely gift. If the flowers weren't roses, the, "traditional", gesture you give to someone you love on the day you are suppose to give them, I wouldn't be bothered? It was almost as if, it was an obligation?? Of course this "stems" from years of frustration, because, I was supposed to be the, "bread winner", the cooperate mother that won "paid for trips", and could buy the extra things, we were custom to? I gave that up, because, those things didn't make me happy!

I spend so much time, "trying to do the right thing", making up the loss of that income. I am not sure, it will ever be enough?

Little by little and day to day, I make a difference helping kids by coaching them and being a mentor. I know, my own kids will be better for having my attention and me being there for them. When money becomes a factor, it messes everything up. I feel like I am obligated and can't do what my heart tells me is the right thing, to do. I have so  much to offer, but, my lack of "education" keeps me from being "compensated" for, what I love doing?

I am a really hard worker and whatever I put my heart and sole into, I give 110% of myself. I think that is why, when my whole entire team; nominated me, as "Coach of the Year", it was the most humbling moment in my life. I think, it was the nicest thing, anyone has ever done for me. For a night, the night of those awards, I was so blessed and felt so honored, because, I was appreciated for what I love to do.

Now, as I write,  I am starting to see a lot of, I this and I that? This is not my intention, in anyway. I am not a self promoting person, looking to make money for what I love to do. I am using the, "social networks", to share my story, and show others they are capable of anything!

I have this insight in people, and what drives them and makes them happy. I encourage the youth, because they have embraced me, and  empowerd me to feel, "worthy", to teach them to be good people, as if I am one of them. The parents of the kids I coach, have embraced my energy and love that I compliment the kids and make them all feel special and a part of something. They teach me and I teach them. I stand up for what's fair. I give them the credit they deserve and don't under estimate them. This is what has made me a successful coach and my team so amazing. We trust each other !!

In thinking about where I started and where I am today, I can clearly see, we all have a purpose. I may not be, "book smart", and I may have certain disablities that prevent me from being the norm, or getting a 9-5 job?  I don't have that answers, rigtht now, why I was chosen to stuggle in those areas. What I do know, I am a good coach and mentor for all kids. I am a fighter that fixed my own septic system and taught myself how to replace a water heater. I am no different than anyone else in this world, and we all have our differences. We can either fight to be happy, or live as miserable human beings! We should compliment eachother and use eachothers strengths to grow together?

If we could just get passed the differences we all have, and give eachother, "equal opportunites", I think that would make for a "fair playing field".

I am still learning the sport of soccer, I am continuing to take coaching classes, so I can not only teach good ethics and values, but also have a clear and better understanding of the actual game. I reach out to those that can help me with that, and they are empowerd that I care to ask the questions. Never be afraid to look stupid,  its ok to admit your weakness. No one knows everything, and there is always someone out there willing to tell their story and inspire someone else!

My roses, are in water and I will care for them, as they deserve to be cared for. I did however, put them in tuperware, because, even a rose has to adapt to its enviornement. We all know, that the world around us, is changing everyday; and,  if we can't afford a home made out of Crystal, then we must survive in a a home made out plastic, or we wont survive at all!

xx Coach Salvo

Soccer Saves Me

So in my journey to discover, "true happiness", I find Soccer?

When I embraced the role, as, "stay at home mom", I wanted to not just take care of my house, but, get involved with my kids! What did I know, about Soccer? NOTHING!! I never played the sport, in  my life! I went out for a team, "once", in 8th grade; because, I wanted to make new friends, I didn't make the team, and that was the end of that! Until 3 years ago.

In an effort, to get my very, "shy", first born son, to join some kind of team sport; I suggest Soccer. It was a sport that wasn't aggressive like, Football, and wasn't terribly boring to watch, like t-ball? My son, agreed to join, "if", I coached? The town recreational program, encouraged me, they never have enough volunteers!

I knew I didn't want to be, "an assistant", especially to some "ego driven", father who was the former soccer star!  I made it pretty clear; I would like to, "head coach"! I was given the go ahead and off I went to coach, my first boys 2nd grade team !! This was a life changing moment for me, FOR SURE!!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Leaving the Past

I know, closure,  is a word that, "every thereapist talks about", at least eveyone I have ever seen. I do think it is  a substantial step, in order to move forward.

I am not about blame, for my failures, because that can become and easy excuse? I do believe that we all suffer, hardship and unfairness; at some point in our lives! Those terms may seem mild, to the brutality so many people suffer, and I am not saying that we don't have the right to feel pain, or be angry and tentative about who we love and trust. Its the, "chip on our sholders", that can hold us back, or prevent us from moving forward!

I don't want to go off onto a tangent, but the point of this blog was to; "put my past behind me", tell the truth and move forward! Look, I am happy now. I made poor choices, and we talked about that, in my first blog.

I did go on to get another job, and than another!  You may ask, why would you do that? I was in fear of losing my family, and felt an obligation to my husband; because of my poor financial decisions.I ended up being laid off, again and again, as the economy declined. I also beleive my, "cut throat", sales attitude had been forever changed, after getting a taste of what  I was desperatly missing, my young children, and being loved for being just me.

I did pick up the slack; got the family health insurance, became the Queen of, "DO IT YOURSELF". I made lots of mistakes, but, learned from them. I lost the weight I gained, from eating on the road and being depressed. I finally started gaining some self confidenced, I was moving forward and feeling like I had purpose; I became a volunteer and mother, the kids loved me and I loved them, the new friends I made, became my support system/"my village". I was appreciated for the first time in my life, and none of it had to do with, "financial gain"!

Remember the, "Good Guinea Wife, Guide to Weight Loss"?  I dropped 60 lbs without the gym, I started cooking my own food. I started lifting mulch and doing my own home repairs. I became empowered as a homeowner; because, I had taken responsibility for owning a home!

The bomb dropped; after my husband couldn't afford the mortage payments. I didn't know, he had stopped making those payments and we were now in jeporady of losing our home. This is the home that I had finally taken responsibility for and had renewed my self confidence to believe I could accomplish, more than; "selling ice to an Escimo"?

Ok this is starting to get heavy, but at least I am highlighting the parts of the past that i need to, "leave behind". I am going to give it a rest for tonight, because, I want to keep it truthful and real. Good night, and I will finish, after I can clear my head!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Opportunity Discoverd

So, where did I last leave off? Oh yea, it was patience?? I almost gave up on this blog, but something happend tonight; something that "woke me up, and reminded me, why I started.

Reality check; I am unemployed, and we don't have health insurance and I have no "skills" to repair the septic, or paint the house! I was depressed, overnweight, broke and about to lose my family?

What would I know; about landscaping, painting, or plumbing?

What I like to call, "The Good Guinea Wife Guide to Weights Loss". I don't have the energy at this very moment to ellaborate, but I promise to tell the secrets!

Back to reality; I am literally weeks away from losing my unemployment benefits and I wont, I can't bring myself back to the, life I previously lived! Sell whatever to make a buck, only thing, "every time you sell, you have to sell more". The pressure, to always do more, produce more, for something that I just don't believe in!! I guess that is why I originally got out of sales? I realized, I can't sell what I don't believe in? Does that make any sense? The money was never a motivational factor, it was, "Could I be the BEST?"  I was the best, but, when you don't have any competition, the game is over....

The changing moment today, comes from where you least expect and from who you least expect it!  My husband, yes the one that wanted to leave me,  tells me today;  February 9th, 2011, You need to audition for this job, it is perfect for you! You should be the next, "mytv9star"!

What job? What audition? I go to "mytv9star"; I read the job description and realize I may have found my opportunity to do what I was called to do! This is a job that I could,  "sell myself", and, "I do beleive in me"!! I will have a platform to meet people and change lives, "for the better". I can share my life with others and make lives better, I can relate to the, "real housewife" in America!!! I am excited and happy that I have a chance to live out my dreams, and my family is supporting me!!

For today, I am not going to re-live the hardships of the past couple years.

Thank you, to my husband!! xo

Friday, February 4, 2011

Back to Basics

About four years ago, a friend said, "you need to get back to basics". I have carried that advice with me, since then, and sometimes have even taken it literally. Why are we so, greedy and why do we put so much pressure on ourselves, "our mothers and fathers"? As we evolve as a society, we are discovering more mental health issues, and a rise in drug and alcohol problems! I fear that if we continue at this pace, the impact it will have on our children,  "the future" of America, could be devastating! This is why,  I am going to share my story, in hopes I can help even one mom or dad to find your balance and make the best of a bad situation, just getting "back to the basics"!

When I was working, and making a healthy living, I might add..I was never satisfied, I didn't feel complete. After giving birth to my first child, I guess I made the excuse my unhappiness was due to, "hormones", but, it wasn't till 18 mos. later after the birth of my second child; did I realize, I couldn't manage a career and be a good mother, and wife.
Of course, at this point, I had poorly managed my money, and created a, "lifestyle", that both my husband and I had become a custom to. I was ready for a change, and willing to, "get back to basics", be a full time mom and really learn what it meant to be, "a homeowner"!?  That sounds, like a, "good plan", right? What I didn't factor in, my husband was blind sided, and why wouldnt he be; I impulsively made the decision without even discussing it with him, and justified it by accounting for where my income always went. We would no longer have, the high cost of childcare, or the fancy ammenities; like the cleaning lady and trips to the casino.  I could surely, do without those things! I thought, if I was happy, the money and stuff wouldn't matter!
I of course, didn't know, we were at the brink of an, "economic down time", let alone, a "depression". I assumed, I could always get another job, if we needed, "extra money". I was in sales, and boy could I sell! I was told, by my father; whom I might add is a very intelligent, business man, "you could sell ice to an Escimo"?
I never got a "specialty degree", I managed to peice together, an "Associates Degree", after several years and lots of money later; Thanks, to my parents that wanted for thier daughter to have, "a higher education".
I believed, I would never have trouble finding a job.
Back to my husband, who was very unhappy with the decsion I had made. He was so unhappy; he threatend divorce, if I did not go back to work and pay for the debt we had accumulated in the few years we had been married. I agreed with him, and I was wrong to have made this decision, without involving him! I was also very foolish not to factor in  "financial security"!
Back to basics, is also about being smart! I was not very smart! I never knew what it cost to run a home, what the cost of fixing a transmition is, what health insurance cost, and what a bad credit score does to your shot at a home modification loan?
You need to get back to basics, when you hit, "rock bottom", exactly where I was, and where we are today as a society! Things didnt get broken overnight, and they are not going to be fixed overnight!
I leave you with one word, "patience", something I am still learning, and something you will have to be; to find out what happens next!

Cabin Fever

This BLOG is the product of; What four major snow storms, do to a "stay at home mom", that needs to start channeling her energy, into something? To be honest, I dont really know, what the heck I am doing? I am a terrible speller, and my grammer stinks!
Last night, I found myself "tweeting" a massive amount of, "frustration", onto Twitter! My impulsivity, can often get me in trouble, and I find  myself, "apologizing", more often than not! If I have to, "think first", and write down the most memorable parts of my day, mos. or year, I am less likely to go off into a "tangent"?? Lets see how that works out for me??
In the past few weeks; I have been confined to my home because of the massive amounts of snow, we have in CT. I have become, a victim of what, "local news","talk shows", and "reality tv", can do to a, "stay at home mom"! At 6am, its starts with, "News Channel 8", and the constant reminder of, "upcoming storms". This might affect me more, on a "personal" level, bc/ my husband plows in the winter to supplement the income he loses during, the winter mos. running his seasonal business. My husband is, hard working, but doesn't handle "stress" very well; and to say, that he has been under a lot of stress, would be an under  statement? When you aren't making, "an income", somehow, the work I do, doesn't justify that level of stress? Hmmm, I will have to think about that one?
At 10 am I tune into the "3rd hour", of the Today Show. I actually, have found Hoda's choice in music refreshing and Kathie Lee to be a "straight shooter"? 11am is the View, I really only watch the, "Hot Topics", to hear Joy Behar bitch with the other ladies at the table? K so, I take a break, until 3pm! NO I don't take a nap, or get my hair done, I load my wood stove, clean the house, do laundry, shovel the snow from the roof, deck, driveway, walkway and force myself to take a shower. I mean, why would I take a shower, or put make up on, "if I am not going anywhere", right? I catch up on my emails, and look at my facebook account,and twitter accounts. I read tweats about, "socialites and real housewives", that are jet setting off to the Sundance Film Festival, and getting National regognition for all thier, "volunteer", efforts, and free merchandise to promote, etc... I don't get it, I am so much more entertaining than anyone of these ladies, "why not" feature, what a "Real Housewife" is, they are NOT a true depiction of what women are doing to survive in today's economy! It is misleading and unfair to those of us, who sacrafice, and I mean, "really", sacrafice for our families, or to keep a roof over our heads?You could say, why bother following them, if it gets you so "fired up"? There is a story there, I went to highschool with, "The Bachlorette", and she is on my facebook and twitter, so, I have,"followed" her, I guess out of curiosity? In following these, "real housewives", I have discoverd they use the social network to self-promote! So, why shouldn't I do the same thing? I can use the Social Network as a platform to share what I do to, "make it work", and "make a difference", and can use the Social Network to share what a "REAL HOUSEWIFE", REALLY is! Well that is it for my first blog, I have a lot to catch up on! x