Monday, March 7, 2011

Paying it Forward

I am not the type of person, to, "sing my own praises", or "toot my own horn"; so, I write this in an effort to help others see, they can also, "pay it forward", in the most simple way!

When I lost my job a few years ago; I traded in my corporate job, for a full time stay at home mom, wife and house manager! It was the best gift, I have ever been given. I was forced to take a good look around, and put my priorities in perspective!

I have an 9 year old little boy, that is very shy and suffers seperation anxiety. My son, wanted to play Soccer, but, only if I coached? I had never played Soccer, so, coaching would be "outside my comfort zone", for sure! The recreational Soccer program, in my town, encouraged me to sign up; and, assured me, they would provide trainers to help and additional training for new coaches. I did sign up, and so my journey began!

When I started coaching; I found that I had a natural ability to relate to the kids! I made practices fun, and made sure to give every player an "individual role", on our team, something that would make them feel special! I built this, "commrodary", amoungest my team; watching these little boys, work as a "team", to encourage each other and support one another, was what kept me going and now coaching for 3 years!

This past fall, I wanted to do more. The boys Varsity Soccer coach, invited the 2nd, 3rd and 4th grade teams, to play during the half time at all the home games. I decided to take on the task, and schedual a game for all the little boys, and I even included girls, "that wanted to play". It was the most remarkable experience for everyone involved! The high school boys, became mentors, and the little boys, "I can't even put it in words, its like they believed for just those 15 minutes, they could do anything, or do something, "great"! I wish I could describe it better, and when I talk about it, it brings tears to my eyes! This program was such a tremendous success, we are working to continue, a, "mentor program"; having, the Highschool boys work with the new coaches and players, during the entire Soccer year!

In the past 3 years I have been coaching; I have watched, not only my son, but so many other young boys; "Believe in themselves"! I have seen these young boys, embrace one another, support one another, and enourage one another! I have taught them, so much more than Soccer! I have taught them to beleive in themselves, and to be kind to one another; I have taught them, "good sportsmansip"! They have given me the courage to play Soccer, and I know play on an adult, co-ed team?

The most amazing thing happend this past year, I recieved a letter from, "Connecticut Junior Soccer Association", naming me, "Recreational Boys Coach of the Year"! The most amazing part of that award; I was nominated by my entire team, who wrote a two page letter about how I had given them the confidence, to believe in thier dreams!!
I believe, that everyone has a purpose in this life! We all have the opportunity to pay it forward! I have payed it forward, by giving our youth the confidence to believe in themselves, and, they will pay it forward....whether its stopping a bully, accepting a new student, or helping someone who is having a bad day? The highschool boys, have paid it forward by mentoring these young boys, that emulate them..The Varsity coach paid it forward, giving my young players the opportunity to share the "spot light", with, his team, and starting a youth sports mentor program. Finally, "Connecticut Junior Soccer Association"; paid it forward, by recognizing how, being a good coach, is much more than teaching how to kick a Soccer ball!

If we all chip in, its contagious, and I have seen it for myself !The more you give in this life the more you will receive!

Thank you,

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!!!!

I remember Dr. Seuss, and, "The Cat In The Hat"! I remember when my mom, made green eggs, and ham? I remember my imagination running wild, and believing all those magical stories we read as children!

Cudos to public school, for, making the effort to keep our kids a part of that history!I am ashamed to say, I had no idea?

I worry sometimes, I am so absorbed with Social Media, that the cool books and even tv shows; I watched growing up, will be forgotten? Im not even that old, but, I am already starting to forget? I used to run home, from school, not to miss, "Little House on the Prarie"?I remember reading, "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe"! My own daughter, didnt' know who Annie was? My son, never heard about the tv show, Chips? That was cool stuff!!

Today, I am making another goal! I will research and share; a little something about; what my generation liked to read and watch on tv? It can be a new tradition?

I am asking all my readers to help me out! If you grew up in the 70's, send me your favorite tv show,or favorite book! I need to start somewhere?


Monday, February 28, 2011

Charlie Sheen the Salad Spinner and the Swifter Wet Jet

What do all these things have in common?

1) They claim to get clean
2) They break when you put too much pressure on them
3) They are a waste of time to deal with

Im not sure why I am blogging tonight? Maybe, because I haven't blogged in a while and am feeling the need to purge? I have met some interesting folks this evening? I have gotten some good laughs, good advice and learned that my cleaning products, wont kill my dog!

As a mother, that doesn't get out of the house much; Social Networking has become my fix! I get to meet new people, and be myself! Someone even called me witty! I think that is the first time i have heard that in my whole life! COOL!

So, as I may have mentioned in an early blog; I have decided to interview for this "job", as the traveling host for MYTV9. The requirements, sound like the letter that my boys soccer team, wrote on my behalf to elect me, "ct coach of the year"? I have never thought of myself as, "self promoting". I think that is why I am having a hard time, wrapping my hands around the concept; that I have always been told Im best at, "selling myself"? Maybe, i just never self promoted on paper,just live in person?

I am going to have to embrace my strengths, and remember why I would be the best fit for this job! People like me! Im relatable, and work hard! I am funny, and now Im witty! Being, enthusiastic, charismatic, and hard working, are the obvious answers! What I need to do, is dig deep, and find the self confidence I had when I was closing the big deals, and top sales producer!

I need to remember, the day I sat in Tiffany and Company cooperate offices and sold myself to the VP! I had an associates degree, my past sales experience was with the Shoreline Times as an ad rep, and I landed the best territory in the region, and became the top producer they had 5 out of the 7 years I worked for them! If I can do that, I can do anything!

I can relate to a CFO at GMAC and the assistant to the President of Yale! I am a stay at home mom, that proved herself to be the "BEST COACH" in the State of CT! I deal with everyday people on a daily basis and have promoted, everyone but me!!I think its my time now, to ask for some help!

You know what, I have nothing to lose! I am going to go for it, and if I don't get it, well it wasn't meant to be?

See if anything else, I can say, "I don't clean, break, and I will never be a waste of your time! Hence the title, although now I think its silly, and I am too tired to change it!

Wish me luck; my fellow, social media network! If you support me, i wont forget you!! I can promise you that! No i am no politician, nor will I ever be!

Good night my friends!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Narcissism or Self Promoting

Narcissism is the personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness

I was shopping in one of my, "regular", consignment shops today. I overheard a nice young women, speaking about her recent aplication for a loan modification; The horrible time she was having. I heard another women, and yet another, all sharing similiar stories. I heard; comments like "no one has credit anymore", "the mortgage brokers that cheated you, are now "loan modificaiton specialist", making money off you again, etc..It occured to me, that everyone is, "looking out for #1", and why shouldn't they? Do we define these people, as, "Narcissist"?

I couldn't help, but to think; "who is successful today", "who is succeeding in this tough, economic time"? It appears; those of us, who are using the power of, "social  networking", twitter, facebook, blogging, etc...  Those of us, who are speaking about, "what we know", and "what we are good at", are not only helping others; but, also building our own self esteem?

My whole life, I spoke about how I was really great with people. I had a nice smile, and I always seemed to capture an audience, no matter who the audience might be, I could relate to anyone! When I was growing up, "that alone did not count, for much"?

I suffer, ADHD, and back when I was growing up; that disability did not exist. I was considerd, "a lazy student". As an adult, I had to sell myself; by getting whatever job, that would hire me. I was constantly, "self promoting"! I think it was misread as, "narcissistic"?

I just want to end with; I think if you are, self promoting about something you are proud of, "WHY NOT"! If you can help others; talking about your strengths , "WHY NOT"! I am proud to be, enthusiastic, charismatic, creative, hard working and still kickin in a crazy world!  To all of my, "social networking, friends", I am listening to you!! I like hearing what you have to share! I don't think you are, "ego-driven,coceited, vane or selfish"! I think you are doing what is necessary to survive, and "get back to basics", in a crazy world!

Coach Salvo

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Coach in the Car

Driving home, after you lose a game, can be bad; But, if you are the coach, and your kid is the player in the back seat, it can be BRUTAL!

I started coaching my; now 8 year old sons, Youth Soccer Team, about 3 years ago. I never had any intentions of coaching any sport? When my son was in kindergarten, he signed up for a soccer clinic. The coach was away on a vacation, and he asked if anyone could step in and coach one of the clinics, I  said I would do it! It was the funnest clinic; I loved spending time with my son and my son loved having his mom, "as the coach"!

That day, changed the dynamics, of my relationship with  my son! He would only continue to play, "if", I coached? He didn't go to anymore clinics after that day! I would go with him, get involved, make him stay and watch? I tried; believe me, I am tough!!

That day, has forever changed by life as a, "Soccer Mom".

Knowing I am making a difference; is why I can stand to drive home after we lose a game. Knowing, I changed my son's life, "for the better"; because, I got involved!

Someday, I will look back and miss the rides home, after a game; Coach/Mom and Player/Son, whether its is a win or a loss, it doesn't matter; its that time we have together, "NOW", that I need to remember counts the most! 

Good Night! x

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

My Skills Don't Pay the Bills

Being a, "Do it yourself Diva, ""Career Volunteer", and "Coach", is more than a full time job!

I have fully challenged myself, both mentally and physically. I have changed lives, and would love to keep doing what I love so much!! Like I said in one of my past blogs, I never thought I would struggle to find a job?

It wasn't till after I watched the President address congress, saying that times had changed; without a higher education or a special skill, you are going to be in trouble.I never believed that woud be me? The fact is, that is exactly me! What I realize and seem to think unfair; some of us, who suffer disabilities that prevent us, from getting the, "traditional" 4 year degree, or perhaps, "struggle" to sit in a class room for more than 10 min, might not fit into the, "cookie cutter jobs", that are listed on job fiinding web sites!

Something about me, I haven't shared. I suffer ADHD. I am very smart; but, when it comes to following a  daily routine, I get frustrated, or bored. I often take on more than I might be asked, or make suggestions that are not part of the, "job description". I am a great boss, to myself !

I work well independantly, and love to learn about new things; but, I need to learn by doing and learning from my own failures. I don't like to be told,"what I did wrong", or, "how to do it". I am not, a, "know it all", and I do love to learn from my failures; I understand, "constructive criticism", and am always open to new ideas. It just seems I deal with people, who expect me to understand, what they are teaching; when they are not really teaching, but, "telling me"? I am often made to feel, "stupid", for not, "getting it", on the first try?

I already said, I am impulsive. I have started home improvement projects and landsacping projects, that I have learned, by doing, it wasn't working. I learned from doing and making my own mistakes, and then fixing them, on my own, and I smile with pride, because the outcome is exactly as I imagined!

It has been rewarding to see my garden grow. When, "mother nature", shows me; "that flower is going to die in that spot", I can move it and it will blossom. It might take a year or two, but when spring comes around, and the garden is filled with color, it puts a smile on my face. I did that, I figured it out on my own!

I have made some BIG mistakes, like painting the treads on my stairs; a color that I turned out to hate. You would think, easy fix, take the paint off? Taking the paint of the stairs, has got to be one of the hardest most physically challenging mistakes I have ever made; but, I did it, and I finished it! I am not going to go into detail about, the other massive, "screw ups". Using the pencil tip on the power washer to clean the wood deck, oops? BIG BAD MISTAKE!  I didn't forget about it, I am just waiting for the weather to change, so, I can flip the boards, "one by one", and re-stain the deck, "the right way"?

Well that's enough of that, but, you can see; as I learn slowly from my own mistakes it builds my confidence and pride in what I am accomplishing everyday. I don't think, you find your "calling", it finds you! I hope some day, "my skills, will in deed, pay the bills"?

Thats all for today! Talk to you soon! xo Coach Salvo

Monday, February 14, 2011

If a rose can survive in tupperware, I can survive anywhere!

I am not really sure, why I writing today, Valentines Day. I guess I had some thoughts I would like to share, about why I am feeling, "less appreciated", than I think I deserve?

I got flowers for Valentines Day,  and that is a lovely gift. If the flowers weren't roses, the, "traditional", gesture you give to someone you love on the day you are suppose to give them, I wouldn't be bothered? It was almost as if, it was an obligation?? Of course this "stems" from years of frustration, because, I was supposed to be the, "bread winner", the cooperate mother that won "paid for trips", and could buy the extra things, we were custom to? I gave that up, because, those things didn't make me happy!

I spend so much time, "trying to do the right thing", making up the loss of that income. I am not sure, it will ever be enough?

Little by little and day to day, I make a difference helping kids by coaching them and being a mentor. I know, my own kids will be better for having my attention and me being there for them. When money becomes a factor, it messes everything up. I feel like I am obligated and can't do what my heart tells me is the right thing, to do. I have so  much to offer, but, my lack of "education" keeps me from being "compensated" for, what I love doing?

I am a really hard worker and whatever I put my heart and sole into, I give 110% of myself. I think that is why, when my whole entire team; nominated me, as "Coach of the Year", it was the most humbling moment in my life. I think, it was the nicest thing, anyone has ever done for me. For a night, the night of those awards, I was so blessed and felt so honored, because, I was appreciated for what I love to do.

Now, as I write,  I am starting to see a lot of, I this and I that? This is not my intention, in anyway. I am not a self promoting person, looking to make money for what I love to do. I am using the, "social networks", to share my story, and show others they are capable of anything!

I have this insight in people, and what drives them and makes them happy. I encourage the youth, because they have embraced me, and  empowerd me to feel, "worthy", to teach them to be good people, as if I am one of them. The parents of the kids I coach, have embraced my energy and love that I compliment the kids and make them all feel special and a part of something. They teach me and I teach them. I stand up for what's fair. I give them the credit they deserve and don't under estimate them. This is what has made me a successful coach and my team so amazing. We trust each other !!

In thinking about where I started and where I am today, I can clearly see, we all have a purpose. I may not be, "book smart", and I may have certain disablities that prevent me from being the norm, or getting a 9-5 job?  I don't have that answers, rigtht now, why I was chosen to stuggle in those areas. What I do know, I am a good coach and mentor for all kids. I am a fighter that fixed my own septic system and taught myself how to replace a water heater. I am no different than anyone else in this world, and we all have our differences. We can either fight to be happy, or live as miserable human beings! We should compliment eachother and use eachothers strengths to grow together?

If we could just get passed the differences we all have, and give eachother, "equal opportunites", I think that would make for a "fair playing field".

I am still learning the sport of soccer, I am continuing to take coaching classes, so I can not only teach good ethics and values, but also have a clear and better understanding of the actual game. I reach out to those that can help me with that, and they are empowerd that I care to ask the questions. Never be afraid to look stupid,  its ok to admit your weakness. No one knows everything, and there is always someone out there willing to tell their story and inspire someone else!

My roses, are in water and I will care for them, as they deserve to be cared for. I did however, put them in tuperware, because, even a rose has to adapt to its enviornement. We all know, that the world around us, is changing everyday; and,  if we can't afford a home made out of Crystal, then we must survive in a a home made out plastic, or we wont survive at all!

xx Coach Salvo