About four years ago, a friend said, "you need to get back to basics". I have carried that advice with me, since then, and sometimes have even taken it literally. Why are we so, greedy and why do we put so much pressure on ourselves, "our mothers and fathers"? As we evolve as a society, we are discovering more mental health issues, and a rise in drug and alcohol problems! I fear that if we continue at this pace, the impact it will have on our children, "the future" of America, could be devastating! This is why, I am going to share my story, in hopes I can help even one mom or dad to find your balance and make the best of a bad situation, just getting "back to the basics"!
When I was working, and making a healthy living, I might add..I was never satisfied, I didn't feel complete. After giving birth to my first child, I guess I made the excuse my unhappiness was due to, "hormones", but, it wasn't till 18 mos. later after the birth of my second child; did I realize, I couldn't manage a career and be a good mother, and wife.
Of course, at this point, I had poorly managed my money, and created a, "lifestyle", that both my husband and I had become a custom to. I was ready for a change, and willing to, "get back to basics", be a full time mom and really learn what it meant to be, "a homeowner"!? That sounds, like a, "good plan", right? What I didn't factor in, my husband was blind sided, and why wouldnt he be; I impulsively made the decision without even discussing it with him, and justified it by accounting for where my income always went. We would no longer have, the high cost of childcare, or the fancy ammenities; like the cleaning lady and trips to the casino. I could surely, do without those things! I thought, if I was happy, the money and stuff wouldn't matter!
I of course, didn't know, we were at the brink of an, "economic down time", let alone, a "depression". I assumed, I could always get another job, if we needed, "extra money". I was in sales, and boy could I sell! I was told, by my father; whom I might add is a very intelligent, business man, "you could sell ice to an Escimo"?
I never got a "specialty degree", I managed to peice together, an "Associates Degree", after several years and lots of money later; Thanks, to my parents that wanted for thier daughter to have, "a higher education".
I believed, I would never have trouble finding a job.
Back to my husband, who was very unhappy with the decsion I had made. He was so unhappy; he threatend divorce, if I did not go back to work and pay for the debt we had accumulated in the few years we had been married. I agreed with him, and I was wrong to have made this decision, without involving him! I was also very foolish not to factor in "financial security"!
Back to basics, is also about being smart! I was not very smart! I never knew what it cost to run a home, what the cost of fixing a transmition is, what health insurance cost, and what a bad credit score does to your shot at a home modification loan?
You need to get back to basics, when you hit, "rock bottom", exactly where I was, and where we are today as a society! Things didnt get broken overnight, and they are not going to be fixed overnight!
I leave you with one word, "patience", something I am still learning, and something you will have to be; to find out what happens next!